Here and now
by chimika
Summary: Discontinuation! My life wasn't easy. But it was life and I treated it as such. And when I died, yes died, I simply expected to be dead. But I wasn't. So here I am living jet another life, sort of. Self-insert oc-ish
1. Chapter 1 The beginning

**Chapter 1 The begining **

My little rewritten version of chapter 1.

Warning:

Due to a few things, me getting a beta and that beta correcting some things (which I did need) and me reading my chapters over with some tips to add more touch, smell, sight and feeling. I fell to add some things that weren't there before, including some new scenes. So if you have already read from this far (chapter four) I highly suggest to read it over again. It will be posted as whole. Or you can ignore my advice and read the chapter below, and getting hopefully lost if I mention something from a chapter before that I have edited. Your choice!

Anyway hopefully you keep enjoying this story as much as I love to write it, as hard as it is at times.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or it's characters!

Beta: Hotaru-Waffles

For those who get confused with in which pov you are reading, I edit it so now you know. If there isn't a (insist name pov) above a scene then the scene is in my main character's eyes.

* * *

Something once lost will never return. –Ciel Phantomhive (Black butler/ Kuroshitsuji)

* * *

When does a story begin? That is a question I have asked myself many times, and about a year ago, I got my answer. Most of the time the story builds up to some event, what it is does sometimes matter and sometimes not. Sometimes it matters and sometimes it doesn't. My point is, the story begins when it's building up some sort event or what is happing at that exact moment.

There are many explanations to this. mostly because there are many stories, movies, games and many more to be told.

In my case all I did was die. Yes, I died. My life, my memories, all of it, didn't matter in death.

The sister who was loved by many, myself included wasn't with me anymore; didn't matter. My brilliant sister, who I loved with all my heart.

The father who never was home, never there...

The mother who-well she doesn't matter now.

Everything I did is gone. All I was is gone. I, after all, I had died.

I would never see the world again, and there was so much that I wanted to do...

My plan was to graduate from school. To live outside my 'home', and find someone to live for. Someone to love…I wanted to have a baby, my own. And now I couldn't have one anymore.

It is all over now.

Most people die in old age, while others much too early. Through maybe a sickness, accident or old age. Everyone knows that. Because if you live, you know that one day you will eventually die. It's a never ending circle. There are many theories of what happens after you die. Some saying that if you did good in life, you'll are go to heaven; while if you did bad, you'll go to hell. But that is just one explanation of what is going to happen after you die.

In my case, I'm somewhere dark. Another sort darkness than the darkness I fell into when I died. That darkness was...dark. In every sense of the word dark. Is was a cold darkness, much too cold for comfort.

This darkness was different; it is warm, at least. I couldn't move much, but that doesn't matter. At least I can feel something. The warmth. I'm warm.

I think I'm in a place where they decide where I must go. Why else would I be here?

I am not special after all, nor do I possess any redeeming qualities.

Most of the time I slept, nonstop dreaming about how my life once was. Or better yet, how it could have been: a child with brown hair, a shade light than mine, with beautiful brown eyes. And an arm around me.

Love, that was love. It's exactly what I wanted.

Sometimes I hear weird noises. Like muffled voices, but it doesn't matter, I'm supposedly dead, why should it matter?

Wait...What is happening?

Lighter shades of darkness started to filter through my line of sight, giving me the idea that the darkness was starting to fall apart. Maybe the gods or something made a decision then? What would it be?

Would I struggle?

'No,' my mind whispers, 'no, that wouldn't do anything.'

I feel like I'm drifting away, like I am in water that is far too strong for me, and I'm out of my comfortable place. It's cold where I am. So very cold. I shiver.  
Am I in hell then? I feel like crying or screaming. But I won't; I won't give hell that pleasure. If I am in hell, that is.

Clap. Then I feel a burning pain on my back. Letting a scream fall out of my mouth, confusion sets in when I feel something else. Something wet maybe? It's something wet on my cheeks. What is it?'

Tears. My tears.

I can't even keep my promise to myself for one minute. I angrily think. Why? Why can't I?

I slowly open my eyes and see…absolutely nothing. Well, excluding a few blurs of colors. Black, black, white, red, blue and more black, but that is about it.

Why can't I see? Isn't it enough that I died?

'Nothing is ever simple for me,' my mind states in exasperation.

I breathe in the air, almost choking. The atmosphere was wrong somehow; like something was in it. Something that shouldn't be. But what?

The colors moved too fast to see more of it, but this time they talked. About me, I think.

I hear someone crying, just like how I was. Only without screaming.

Why though?

Something moved to me, and I could feel that I was in something warm now, almost like a blanket of some sort. And I'm placed in...hands? Arms? But I'm far too large for that!

I'm 17! So why am I in the arms/hands of a women? My body tenses. It's strange to be held, but I don't want to be in her arms. Yet she feels…motherly almost? I try to move.

Mothers aren't to be trusted, after all.

I keep choking on the air. And fresh tears fall from my eyes. What is wrong with me? Normally I don't cry this much.

I hear the voices pick up again. Something picks me up, and I look up to see a white blur with black mixed in. I couldn't see more than with the others, but this thing was...safer. It wasn't easy to describe-but how does one really describe what was going on? Especially if they couldn't see much for one?

Whatever it was holds me differently than the other. Almost as if this thing is not sure how to. But I felt safe, protected.  
The black thing was so much warmer. So much stiller. It is like the very air of this person screams 'Peace'.

The warm blanked feels soft around me. Suddenly, my eyelids begin to feel heavy, and before I know it, I'm asleep.

.

* * *

.

Slowly, I come back to the world with open and bright eyes. I blink, and then blink a second time, still seeing nothing but a bit of colors. Nothing is completely clear, but the difference from before was immense.

Questions swirled around in my head; where am I? What was going on? I know for sure that I'm not in hell. Everything around me was too gentle for hell. The protective 'it' was too...safe. Too safe to be someone I had known

So where am I?

Closing my eyes to focus, I tried to count up the facts: I can't move so much as before. It is almost like.. I'm weaker? And in some way or another I can lie in other peoples arms. But that's impossible; I'm too large for that. Only babies can lie in other peoples arms and...wait.

I can't see clearly.

I can't move properly.

And I can lie in others peoples arms. Like a baby. Am I a baby? No, of course not! I am a seventeen old girl. But… I died didn't I? Can it be that I reincarnated? But...that can't be! Why would I be saved form something like dead while million others die?

'But it is the only explanation,' argues my mind back.

Slowly I begin to panic. Why would I be alive?

Alright, calm down. No use in panicking, right? So you are reincarnated. So what? I'm alive aren't I?

Badum- Badum.

Yes, my heart still beats.

I breathe in the smell of the fresh morning, full with warmth of the day previous. As if it is summer.

But still.. Where am I? What is my name now? Am I still a girl? I stopped. Well, the person I was lying in the arms of was, anyway. This would take some time to get used to…

I try to look in front of me, and which surprisingly I can see. There was a person right in front of us who did a bow and said some foreign words. Unfortunately for me, that person right in front of us started talking with the person I lied in the hands of. And to be clear, it was not the protective 'it'.

Hmm, the one where I lied in the arms of is a female, I figure out by the sound of her voice. Is she my mother then? I pause when the person rumbles a strange language.

Wait...did that person just say 'kawaii'?

That means cute in Japanese. Am I in Japan then?

Another female comes by us. How I know? She squeezes me on the cheek. I frown-well, I think I frown, since I'm baby and all. She laughs at my response.  
I don't like her hands one me. Not one bit.

This continues for a while, and I quickly pick words up like 'cute baby', 'congratulations', and others. Discerning what they say isn't that hard if they say things and point my way.

And most of the time I hear, 'Uchiwa? I think that is my family name. Everyone I hear call the people I'm with that, so maybe I'm right?

I begin to feel sleepy again, eyelids getting heavier with each blink. And in seconds, I'm asleep.

Months started to fly by, and slowly I can see better, understand better. I can see 1.6 feet* clearly, and from there it gets blurred. Till then, the only thing I see is are colors. I did figure out what my name is; Uchiwa Satomi. I learned that if everyone around me repeats those words while pointing or staring at me, I can figure what they mean.

And I guess I was correct in guessing that the female is my new mother. She was the one that feeding me when I got hungry. With bitch milk, too. Saying I was embarrassed was putting it lightly.

But from then on I always could say without doubt that she was my mother, yet trust is something I won't give to mothers. I've learned before that my trust won't be returned; the hard way.

But the air she gives is warm if she was near me. Which is a other thing to look into. Apparently the feeling of people is something that I can do now.  
My father was a cold, closed off man I concluded. As I stare at him and mother while sitting (lying) on a soft pillow on the ground, I notice his hair is black when I try to look closer to his hair, which still isn't easy to do, his hair has a silver gleam through it. From stress? Too little sleep? Addiction to drugs?

While I try to figure this little thing out, the protected it comes in the room. With the peaceful air around it.

''Konichiwa okaa-san, otou-san'' his/her voice says. It could be a girl, her/his voice is high enough.

Father says some things and I try with all my might to follow his words. I have to learn this language to speak don't I? My ears catch some words that I heard before. Something with today?

Mother begins to talk this time, her voice softer and slower. She sounds worried. I look at the protective it. And make sounds of frustration as the place where the protective it should be, is blurred. I try to move my hand forward- towards the protective it- and touch the ground, which is surprisingly soft. I have to figure out what's wrong with the protective it! Slowly I test if my arms can carry me, with a jolt of surprise I fall from my pillow. Surprisingly, I didn't make a sound while falling. Well, I'm not exactly heavy. With my legs under me, half supporting me, I try to move one hand forward. And my left leg. And my right arm and hand. I can move! I make sounds of happiness.

''Satomi-chan'' the soft voice of my mother makes me look up. And there is my mother's face staring right back at me.

She has seen me! I look left and see father also look at me. And the protective it? My mind questions. I look right of me. There he/she stands. Closer than before, though by his/her doing or my doing, I don't know.

Well, I better continue my mission. And so I move forward crawling on my arms and legs. One arm forward, one leg forward and repeat.

After a while, I fell one time, I feel and see skin and slowly I look up. The gentle smile of the protective it looks back at me. Huffing and puffing, the crawling took more of me than it should. I pull my arms up. He looks surprised. Mother says something that I don't understand.

And then the protective 'it' picks me up. His/her hands are rougher than mother's but I don't mind. And so with a satisfying sound, I fall asleep in his/hers arms.

After that the protective 'it' came to me much more than before. And held me most of the time when I was awake.

The rest of the time is spent sleeping, crying for okaa-san which is the japanse version of mother, eating, sleep again. Very repetitive. But I finely found out what the protective 'it' is. It is a he and my brother. Or onii-san as it is in this language. He and mother I see most of the time. Otou-san I sometimes don't see for a while. Well some things never change, I think while thinking of the live off before.

But Otou-san is with me if we have visitors, which in the beginning, was most of the time; almost every day. The staring and awwing towards me was getting more and more annoying. I once tried to say something towards a particular annoying person, she just kept saying things in a weird manner, that I assume was baby language. But when I tried to say something the only thing that came out of my mouth was weird noises. And I almost choked, that wasn't funny. But at the plus side, the annoying 'it' wasn't near me after it.

But still, it was weird to see a lot of people who visits us have onyx/ black eyes and black hair colour. All this types of black that I didn't even knew it existed! Some did have other hair colour, brown seems to be the next popular one. I have seen some purple too, but that couldn't be right could it? They must have dyed their hair… Or it is my baby vision ,that still isn't good enough.

I still hope that I get to see another hair colour someday though.

Oka-san is happier than normal; she hums a song while replacing my diaper today. It is sad but true. I can't control my body completely, but I do try to cry and scream as little as possible. Especially at night. I know how exhausted it is to be woken up in the middle of the night.

Flashes of thoughts and memories fill my mind. Her screaming like her world depended on it. Her favorite time of the day to want some food varieties from day to day. And those horrible, horrible nights when she just kept screaming and crying.

But then one day, I came home from school-it was a long tiring day-and there she lay. Closed eyes with half of her baby hair in a sloppy ponytail. Sleeping. Sleeping in my bed without a care in the world.

I can still remember every detail, well as much as is humanly possible. Her light blue dress, that she wore more than her other clothes, her sleeping face faced towards the door.

I should be angry. I had thought at the time. But somehow, I couldn't bring me self to be angry.

And so I shifted my little night lamp on. It was my old one, the on with the red lipstick on it that mysterious got there after I stole the lipstick form my mother's make-up case. With the light on I began my homework. Silently. As much as possible anyway.

That was the beginning of my sister and I.

I really shouldn't think of the life of Before. Especially not her. But I can bring myself to forget her. Not her. Never her.

''Satomi...'' oka-san says, startling me out of my past memories.

I look up. She looks at me with love and care.

A mother who looks at me with only disappointed.. No. That life is over. I have a new mother now. 'A mother I still don't know properly' my mind whispers.

Oka-san picks me up, and she starts to talk to me. I try to understand-but like usual-only words that are said over and over again are what I can pick up on  
I think there are going to come people again as I grasp the word guests. But why is mother so happy then? She usually isn't when guests come. Then she acts, well-I try to find the right word-protective over me while smiling to people with well used manners. Manners that no debut I someday have to have as well.

But I can feel it. I can feel that her smiles- if she uses any- are different. Her 'aura' acts different. Guarded.

The aura is how I call the stuff in the air. It's practically everywhere; in people, plants, the air. Even in the house its self. The walls, the halls, and in myself. Not all houses have the same amount of chakra. Our house has a fast amount of it though. Maybe it has something to do with how old the building is? Or the people who live in it?

Not all people have the same amount of aura so that makes sense. My family after all has much aura. But my clan does also.. Maybe it is a bit of time and the amount of aura the residents have?

It still is strange to think about, but it's bearable. It feels like...a warm blanket almost, but has the same feeling of blood running through your veins, flowing in every part of the body.

It comes from just below the heart; that is the source. It feels fine, like it is supposed to be there, but it's really strange. The constant feeling of its abnormality causes me to lay awake at night, till I'm so utterly exhausted from lack of sleep, that I end up falling asleep at random intervals.

''Ohayoo Mikoto!'' Someone's loud, bright voice brings me out of my thoughts.

That is my mother's name. But...nobody really calls her that. I narrow my eyes. Only father and onii-san, but onii-san mostly calls her okaa-san.

So where the voice belongs has to be close to her.

Who is it?

The feeling of dread comes to me as the person stays in the same presence for a while longer, and I start to panic when everything about this random person's aura is so hate-filled, angry, and sadistic that it causes me discomfort. Promises of painful-more painful than death-and never ending pinpricks of static invade my sense of being. I feel the ending of this newly beginning life start to dwindle before my eyes. And I'm powerless-helpless-to stop it. More shocks of pain invade my body, and I finally start to sob loudly, not being able to control the urge to and succumbing to the general feeling of anxiety.

Why...does everything hurt so much?

What's going on?

The shock of never ending pain doesn't lessen. If anything it feels like it is increasing, pushing harder into my very soul.

What is this? What is this painful thing?

My body screams for the air I can't seem to breathe in, but even breathing hurts.

More shocks go through my body-the horrid aura is closer now-and this time I wonder if I will survive.

But that question doesn't get answered.

The pain grasps through me. Like a fire-no not fire, to gentle for fire-a burning, bringing death to everything in its path.

And then, the blissful darkness.

But if I would have stayed awake a little longer, I might have noticed that the room was quieter even before the blissful darkness.

Maybe. Yes, maybe.

But then again, I was beyond help even then.

.

* * *

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(Itachi pov)

...

Shock. That is the word to describe what I felt when my imouto cried just as Minato and Kushina came to visit our house. And fear. My body moved without my personal command towards my crying imouto.

My eyes quickly took in the sight before me. I was tactically analyzing what was wrong, what hurt, what I needed to do to help. Because her suddenly crying like she was being murdered wasn't pleasant.

It was something that felt gut-wrenching.

My sister was-not wounded, not even a scratch-in mother's arms. A blanket half wrapped around her and half hanging. Little bit of baby hair on her head. But despite all the effort that mother did, her arms swinging back and forth and reassuring sounds, didn't help in the least.

Fear lashes on me like a moth to a flame. Already my mind came up with several idea's, none of them fitting in the situation. While others do but miss a piece.

One thing I do know though. I need to know what's happening to imouto, what or who casted it and how to make it stop hurting her. Imouto should by all rights, shouldn't feel this level of pain.

With that in my mind I walk to my mother. Towards my fragile imouto, that clearly is in more pain than anyone or anything else.

''What the devil is going on?!'' The still strict–albeit a bit higher pitch than normal-voice of father fills the room.

* * *

I had properly to much fun writhing the last two scenes down. I just love how much pain Satomi was in. Am I a sadist now? Meh. I don't care.

Anyway thanks for reading this and…

Review, if you have time.

Favorite, if you liked this chapter.

And follow if you want to know more!

Imouto: little sister

Outo-san: father

Oka-san: mother

* 1,6 feet is 50 cm


	2. Chapter 2 How it is

**Chapter 2 Filling the closed graves**

Warnings: None at the moment

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or its characters!

Beta: Hotaru-Waffles. Give a thanks to her will jah?

For those who get confused with in which pov you are reading, I edit it so now you know. If there isn't a (insist name pov) above a scene then the scene is in my main character's eyes.

* * *

Enjoy the little things in life.. for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things. – Robert Bruit

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(Itachi pov)

...

The voice of father still rings into the air, and it's almost like time itself doesn't move for a moment.

Which is ridiculous.

The cries that had come from my sister-those horrible cries, that I never wanted to hear from her again-where now silent sobs. The screams that seemed endless, now where replaced with the silence. They are no longer there, which made the situation-if it could be called as such-much worse than it was before.

''Fuguku.''

And with that simple word, time stared to move again. People seemed to unfreeze, and noise started to seep into the room once more. It was easier to breathe at this point, and the thick tension had dissipated completely.  
The voice of someone I hadn't know was in the room. But before my eyes can look towards the source, my mind identified the voice. Namikaze Minato. Currently the fourth hokage and a guest today together with Namikaze/Uzumaki Kushina and her baby still unborn in her womb.

The smell of hospital didn't improve at all, I notice with distain. The bitter taste of medicine fills the air, seemingly never to end. The cleaning supplies little to nothing by cleaning it. If anything they make the smell worse. And lastly, the smell of dead that despite all the effort of the medics, they didn't manage to save.

That smell was the worst of all. The taste of copper, from the blood spilled. The salt, from the many, many tears that have been shed.  
But even if someone died today most would just walk pass the now dead person without knowing the story behind the corpse. Like many do.

The soft ticking of shoes hitting the floor brings me back from my thoughts.

I look in the direction of the soft footsteps, too soft to be a male.

It's oka-san. Just oka-san trying not to die from the worry, as my cousin would have said if he saw her now. But her pacing says enough. Her black hair hanging lose and in her face, her eyes pleading for answers. Answers for what was happening to imouto. Answers of what had happened. And all of those questions could be answered if only someone walked out of that god forsaken door.

It even has the red lamp activated. Come on door. Open up.

Waiting that is what I had to do. Wait for an answer to the many questions, to the possibilities, too..

She could be dead for all I know.

.

* * *

.

And that feelings that come by that thought unsettle me.

Sleep. That's the only thing on my mind. The blissful darkness will protect me form harm.

But the buzzing sound around me says otherwise. The buzzing is like that irritant fly that circles around you on a hot summer day and doesn't stop. But the summer heat has taken its toll on you and you're to lazily to move and remove the fly. That's what the sound is. Just an annoying buzz. And my mind slowly falls back to it's blissfulness.

Then the buzzing increases tenfold.

I almost want to snap at it, just to make it go away. But my mind tells me to just ignore it and go back to sleep.

Sleep.

Sleep…

But..

Where..am I.. sleeping?

The question starts the dulled mind of mine into activation. But still not fully cooperated I notice with irritation.  
It's like there is a stone, a gigantic stone, blocking a river, but not completely. A part of the river does stream like it is supposed to do. And however, it is big enough to let the river be a river and not run dry, the difference between the full out running river and the one it is now, is not able to run for a single second..

Panic crushes through my body. Seconds later, the feeling of numbness fills me. I don't breathe. The shallow breaths that are usually so easily bearable, are nothing. The don't exist.

Where am I?!

Where...am I?

.

* * *

.

With a sudden jolt, I open my eyes.

A blinding color greets me, and all I see is the whiteness of the room. It's a too bright white, almost to the point where it's too bright. Inhaling the air with too much force, I begin to choke on it.  
There's something wrong with the air, the voice in the back of my head seems to say.

Thank you, captain obvious I reply dryly.

Still chocking on whatever it was that made the air somehow impossible to breathe in, I try to take a breath.

Why couldn't I breathe?

My attempt doesn't work to well, since someone puts a strange object on my face; almost like a mask—and rather forcefully, might I add.

While this happens one single thought fills my panicked mind.

What is happening?!

Among the sudden intrusion of safety, there are voices lingering around me—still in Japanese, so that the possibility that I died—again—is little to is sudden a prick in my skin—a needle maybe?—and after that, my mind, still trying to get oxygen, which seems impossible to get, slowly falls asleep.

.

* * *

.

(Itachi pov)

..

With a 'bamp' the door opens. Everyone in the room looks at the person walking out— white coat, a name card at the left side, which read the name Kichiko Taru, laugh lines mixed with stress lines, possible to little sleep over a long period of time—which suggests that he either is an important iryo-nin, or works to hard.

Maybe a little of both?

''Iryo-san, how is Uchiha Satomi?'' my mother's voice asks the question that everyone, myself included, wants to know the answer to.

The male iryo-san looks up—recognition flickers in his eyes—and begins to talk,

''Your daughter's condition is currently stable.''

The tension that was in the room drifts away with those words. But I see the hesitation that lingers in the eyes of the iryo-nin, so I speak.

''Is there more?''

His eyes flicker to my direction.

''Ah.. Uchiha-san. Yes. Yes here is.''

With that the tension that was a here a minute ago, reappears.

I wait for the iryo-nin to gather his words so that if he does speak again, it will be useful. This will be much more word-filled than what I would have got to hear if I didn't wait. That, after all, is how humans work.

''Satomi-san is currently sleeping. But she was awake for a moment. In that moment it seemed that she couldn't get enough air into her lungs, despise that the room we were in was not lacking in oxygen. After we put her asleep again with sedatives, she didn't have the same problem to breathe as when she was awake. We did check for anything that could have disturbed her lungs, but didn't find anything that could have affected her to react in such a way. We don't know what caused Satomi-san to get into this state.''

''What about how she got in this state in the first place?'' my otou-sans harsh voice asks.

''We don't know Uchiha-sama.''

He notables tenses, waiting for a reaction (a bad one, might I add). But we aren't Uchiha for nothing. Uchiha's control their emotion after all, no matter in what kind of situation they are. Even if my imouto was screaming like she was dying form a lethal poison, we aren't allowed to show anything. My anger grows just a little stronger. Not that I show any of it on the outside. Uchiha's don't do so after all.

''I…have an idea of what may cause Satomi-san to be in such a state''

I raise an eyebrow. If he has an idea of what caused my imouto to react in that way, why does he hesitate? Unless…it is something that can harm my imouto? But no, than he would heal it. Is it something that my parents wouldn't approve of? That would make more sense. After all even if he is a well know medic (which he is, but not famous) he has nothing on the Uchiha.

"What is this idea of yours?'' I state lightly, not to sound too interested (which I am). It is after better to sound interested.

''Well…I have heard from a friend that he saw a child with the same syndromes …''

.

* * *

.

Blackness. The world turned into a black that was hard to ignore. But that dead black. That black I will always remember.

Beep.

This dark is more comfortable, not the other one.

The 'don't trust it, kind of way'—but more real?

Beep.

More like sleep…but I am awake aren't I? Otherwise I wouldn't think right now.

Beep.

And what is that annoying beep?

Beep.

Couldn't it just stop?

.

* * *

.

After my little episode, things changed. My brother, that before was there once in a while, now tried to be with my as much as he possible could—considering that he was still at the school and all. It wasn't that annoying at all; his ever soothing present that he only seemed to possess, made me sleep easier than ever before. Sleep that before was troubling with the ever present of whatever is in everyone's body, became stiller and the aura in home became dull compeered too his.

But when my brother wasn't around, my mother was there. And her present however so warm-much warmer than onii-sans- was a bit of a bother. Not because she wasn't kind like brother, but because she kept an eye on me every single minute when I was in her presence. Apparently after my breakdown she got more protective than ever. Sometimes when I think I am alone and I try to pick up a block—because what else can I do when people constantly watch me then act like the baby I am supposed to be?—she'll be somewhere in the distance, waiting and watching.

This one time, I was playing with my blocks again. I somehow miscalculated, and the block, along with the castle I was building, crumbled down—all falling on top of me.  
And there oka-san came out of nowhere fishing me out of the blocks.

All of this wouldn't have scared me if she hadn't had been in the kitchen a second ago—I know because her aura was there.

It was scary as hell.

This really brings back memories when I took my freedom for granted.

I will never do that again. But all in all, all of this prevents me from my much needed time alone without someone—mother—constantly breathing down my neck.

But now…I check upon my mother's aura—in the living room—father is somewhere outside home—possible work, which he is most of the time—my brother, somewhere out of my reach, the most possible explanation is school.

I check my mother's aura again—still in the living room—and try to feel any of my brothers calm aura—none, minus the little bit that always lingered in home—father—nowhere to be found—and I check it again. And double check.

And the realization hits me.

For the first time in months, certainly not years—my body would have changed by then—I am free of the constant looks of my family.

A sound of happiness leaves my throat. Finally, finally, can I do what I wanted to try for weeks, before the accident with that weird couple and the massive amount of aura that was too painful to bear.

I can do what I wanted to do, and more till my peaceful moment without watchful eyes ends. But I still have to be careful though, oka-san could come any moment like she did before.

Ever so slowly, I crawl towards the wall. Looking up, I notice the walls are decorated with things that I'm not familiar with, but are without doubt expensive—if not overly so.

There are other rooms, my onii-san's, which I am terribly curious about, and a few others that I the one second left, or right if your perspective is from the front door, from the hallway is my outo-sans study room. And I know almost scantily that the two rooms next to mine are guest room.

Then there is a room next to the master room and the one almost left from the living room where locked and even if they weren't I can jet open a normal door without help. Even if most of the doors are of bamboo with paper. Makes me wonder how in the hell they can be locked in the first place.

Jet another thing to add to the strange things that happen in my new life.

There are other rooms, my onii-san's, which I am terribly curious about, and a few others that I the one second left, or right if your perspective is from the front door, from the hallway is my outo-sans study room. And I know almost scantily that the two rooms next to mine are guest room.

Then there is a room next to the master room and the one almost left from the living room where locked and even if they weren't I can jet open a normal door without help.

I was a baby after all, even with how much it still pains me to be in this body without muscle. And sometimes it just feels so wrong. The shade of my new skin is so much softer and lacking the callus that my body possessed. As not to mention the skin tone. My body had a light color, yes, but this new one has a much more lighter shade. So light that it almost is ghostly white, and it doesn't shade at all, so I have noticed from my brother and mother where apparently the gene has come from. Even my father still has a light skin color, but has a bit more of a darker shade in the summer, that leads me to believe that the almost ghostly-white skin color is a family thing on _both _sides.

My shoulder length brown hair that I loved despite the fact that, that was the only fiscal thing from my father, who had the same before we moved to England where grey hairs managed the get mingle, despite him being only 42 when we moved. To that place when things went horribly, horribly wrong.

I slowly release my breath. It doesn't matter anyway, that life is over.

I place my hand on the soft wood of my bedroom's wall.

Yes, time to start my plan.

With the help of the wall I try to bring my small body up; my poor legs wobble with the effort, then promptly smack against the wall.

No, of course not; I don't fall to the floor but at the wall.

Ouch, that really hurt. I rub my painful nose, trying to lessen the pain.

Well, my first attempt was as worthless as you can get. But I have to begin somewhere with learning how to walk, because how fun it's to crawl I have to learn to walk otherwise life will much harder and won't go so well for me. And besides, it is high time I learn it.

I'm well over a half year old, or older, but not yet a one year old. Otherwise I would meet my horrible aunts and other women that apparently have noting else to do than coo over my baby self at my birthday.

If they do celebrate birthdays in Japan that is. In anime and manga they do, but you can never be sure.

I shake my head; no time for such a thoughts, time to try to stand and eventually, walk.

Bamp.

I fall on the ground this time, I am still very glad that my parents, one that is not always home and another that has suspicious ninja skills, but still I'm glad that at least one of them has prober sense to give my room a soft floor cover which is surprisingly thick. With it the fall from trying to stand up is at least softer then that if I bonk into the wall.

Alright let's try this again. But this time don't push but try to keep your patience.

Suddenly the peaceful aura fills my range, which isn't much just a enough to feel an aura in every direction from my home and in it, I can only feel close to me or further away. It's like seeing, you can't look at an object that's close to you and looking towards the sky. But that peaceful aura means only one thing, my brother is home again.

I sigh. And I was doing so great too, to spend my time on something that is actually learn full and meaningful.

Ah well…

Wait a minute.. Onii-san is coming in the direction of my room in little more than half a minute if not less he should be here.

Well at least my parents do like me so I don't have to crawl my way to a crib, or anything remarkably similar to it, in record time just to pretend that I was there all along. I would get bored out of my mind and body if I had to stay in one day and night. The mere thought of it makes me shudder.

My door cracks slightly, it is properly not fixed because babies are easily frightened form the simples of things (people popping up, is one of them).

Onii-sans peaceful energy fills my room in no time while he steps into my room.  
''Ita!'' My sluggish baby voice still can't produce onii-sans full name, but even the first few letters are rewarded with a soft smile from onii-san, which are scarce and hard to get by.

But trying to see that smile of his makes me fall, only for the familiar hands to pick me up and onii-san lays me in his arms. I lean towards his warm body and sift slightly to lie more comfortably, fully enjoying his ever soothing present so much so that I almost missed the spicy present of that other person from before. Onii-san says a few words that I can hardly understand, but apparently are meant for the new person.

The new person comes towards me, now in my sight; the standard onyx eyes of my family stare back at me. He makes a comment that involves 'kawaii' and others that I can't yet understand, but by the reaction of onii-san (who blushes slightly and that I only can see because I'm so close to his face, but still is a sight to see) am I suddenly glad that I don't understand what the new person has said.

But still, who is this strange person that acts so similar to my onii-san? It even makes him smile which I only mastered the art of in our house. I glare at him, that ears a laugh from it.

''Satomi-chan'' Onii-sans voices makes me lose my staring (glaring) contest with it.

I look at the face that belongs to the voice, noticing that he looks more tired than I have ever seen him before. Why would he be so tired? Was school that hard for him? Or is he sick?

* * *

Thanks for reading this and…

Review, if you have time.

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	3. Chapter 3 Things in life

**Chapter 3 Too be loved and too be hurt **

Warnings: Don't expect this chapter to be gentle with your feelings. I got almost got tears while writing that one scene.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or its characters! I only own this plot and my oc's

Beta: Hotaru-Waffles

For those who get confused with in which pov you are reading, I edit it so now you know. If there isn't a (insist name pov) above a scene then the scene is in my main character's eyes. But that isn't the case with the dear dairy scene. Well you have to figure out for yourself who the person is who writes them. I'm not going to spoiler it.

* * *

Don't waste your time with explanations, people only hear what they want to hear. – Paulo Coelbo

* * *

I look at the face that belongs to the voice, noticing that he looks more tired than I have ever seen him.

Why would he be so tired?

Was school that hard for him? Or is he sick?

Going with my original gut feeling, I realized it had to be something else. Noticing how blatantly obvious it was, I felt like an idiot for not realizing it sooner.

I, too, have suffered from it.

What he has now is awareness; awareness of the world, life, and the way that it is all twisted into some big, great lie.  
I see it the way he holds me just a little tighter when that spicy aura moved closer to me. But for him to have this kind of awareness—the kind that you usually get when you're an adult and realize that no one is special, and that we all have to go through the same sort of pain every day.  
The awareness that you get from the hard reality that has finally bumped into you; the awareness that leaves you tried

And worn out.

But for onii-san to have it…

What has possibly happened to him?

The days that followed where much simpler then meeting spicy-aura. I haven't seen him since, but his aura is still lingering just inside the living room, or outside the door; and onii-sans aura follows soon after—usually fairly fast too. Not the kind of running fast, but almost faster.

And it bothers me. My oka-san does it sometimes too, and otou-san.

But it shouldn't be possible to move so fast. So I'm imagining things, or I can blame it on being an infant. Or there is something else going on.  
Because frankly humans shouldn't be able to do those things.

And it scares me.

.

* * *

.

Today was pretty much the same as always. Sleep, cry for food (oka-san came surprisingly not on time), eat and sleep again.

Plus the nagging suspicious that there is something with my family, couldn't be confirmed.

And so, I slept again.

Sleep is pretty much the thing that keeps me sane at the moment. A baby brain after all, no matter how flexible a human brain is, is still meant for a baby. A baby with no awareness and has to learn everything; every little thing about the world. So with the awareness of an almost full grown adult and with all the memories of my life in a little brain isn't exactly practical; no matter how you look at it.

At least that is what I think.

And thinking is what causes the unpracticality of my tiny mind. Thinking causes headaches, and headaches cause stress.  
And stress for an infant isn't exactly the best.

So my only solution is sleep. It comes to me much and much easier now that onii-san has spent so much time with me—it's like the pressure that was there has been lifted.

But sleep came with a conscious.

''He princess long time not seen!'' My papa's warm voice reached my ears. My toys long since forgotten by the time he finished that sentence.

''Papa!'' My short legs run towards the person that I haven't seen in weeks. Mama has been weird today, but now that papa is home everything will be better! After all mama and papa are always happy when they're together.

''David you are home already?''

Papa's warm arms let me go.

''My flight left a bit earlier than expected. And my, Judith you look as beautiful as you were before I left~''

Smack.

''Idiot, of course I do.''

''Owwww. Judith you didn't have to smack me so hard!''

My eyes watch the scene unfold and I giggle at the funny faces papa makes. He always acts so playful when he comes home from a long, long time. When I look up again I see the smiles of both my mama and papa and I can't help but straighten my arms with my smile still on my face.

Papa picks me up and spins me around me laughing at the feeling of my papa's strong arms around me and the wind. And most of all, just the feeling of home.

Evenly it stops and papa settles me on his right arm. ''So what have I missed?'' I immediately begin to talk about madam Claudel. ''She was almost as red as.. as a tomato! And the whole class laughed. And th-then Anna said that she wasn't cut out to be a teacher. That's just mean! Why would you c-cut something out? And-''

The evening was how it is supposed to be in my home. Mama was smiling almost the whole time and papa was grinning like an idiot.  
When dinner was done at over with we moved outside. Mama spreading out a blanked, we don't want to get dirty after all. And me safely tucked away in a softer one sat there watching the stars.

Our little thing.

And as my eyes were getting heavier and heavier I slowly fell asleep. Content between my warm present of my parents.

I jolt awake. My eyes slowly adjusting to the barely light room. Dark grey fills my vision. My heart still beats harder than normal.

As I slowly adjust to being awake one word fills my mind.

Memories.

Because with the ease that comes with sleeping, dreams take hold.

And in my case the dreams turn into the memories that somehow are still in the little brain of mine.

Memories of good times. Times when we were still a family. And that hurts more than nightmares ever can. Tears fall out of my eyes and I have a sudden need to just scream and cry till my throat burns too let everything out.

And if I was still in my real body I wouldn't. But I'm not.

More tears fall pitifully out. And soon little sops come out of my throat. It hurts. It hurts so much.

My family.

My dear sister. My dear little sister I will never see her again. And even if I do, she won't see me as her sister. She will see a stranger.

And Mom—oh god Mom—I can never say to her how sorry I'm for the fights we had. And even with our differences, I would love nothing more than to try to be how we were when we were still in our real home in France. Were my grand-mère would laugh at your silly attics with dad. And I would giggle and then dad would turn around and swing me around…. And even there we had our fights but.. We forgave each other. And then you would hug me and we would make our special bread that dad thought only you could make. But I could too. It was our special thing.

But then we moved and everything we knew, changed. And I know mom how much it hurt you. And I'm sorry that I never tried to understand how much. I wish I would be there for you, instead of-of being selfish. Why didn't I see it before?!

That your heart hurt every time dad came later than he promised to be home? And that you hurt when my sister grew up and was home as little as she could? ''I just was with friends mom.'' Oh Mom, I'm so sorry. So very sorry for all the times that I screamed at you when I wanted to be home. Our real home. And I forgot that it was your home too.

And dad. Funny, silly dad. Why did you have to accept that job? Couldn't you see how much it hurt us to be so far away from everything we once knew? To move to a country where it rains most of the time. We couldn't even understand the language! We could understand how you would laugh at some joke while we would watch. Not understanding a thing. And people would look at us, and whisper to each other. And we couldn't even defend our self's. Even with the language barrier, we could understand that what they said was meant to be hurtful.

And later you would ask, with that same damn smile of yours, if we enjoyed the party. And mom would dutifully nod. And I would look away to mask the hurt that question brought.

It hurts that you didn't see. You didn't see…

Dad why didn't you defend us like you promised you should?

''There, there princess. Papa will always defend you no matter what! So the next time you cry just scream 'papa' and I will come!''

''Papa!''

But you didn't. You fucking didn't.

''Imouto..'' Onii-sans voice…Why is he here?

Soft arms pick me up and wig me back and forth.

Tears still prick and a let them fall not knowing how to stop them.

Onii-san…The peaceful aura around him fills my room. How did I not notice him? Through my teary eyes I try to look at him. Onii-san.. His eyes are filled with worry. About me? Why? I'm not special. Onii-san shouldn't worry about me. I should worry about others. Not the other way around…

''Ita'' I straight my arm towards my onii-san.

He should never worry about me.

A soft smile forms on his face.

He should smile more. But then again…If he smiled more…His smiles towards me wouldn't be so rewarding.

It is strange. How one of his smiles…Can make me feel so warm…And…make me forget…my sorrows...

.

* * *

.

Noises. My body slowly begins to accept that it has been awakened. The feeling the my soft blanked reaches my thoughts. One of the good things that you get with being a baby.

''…home….''

''…you're sure…''

So that is what awaken me. As a baby everything is mostly new to my body. Even if most of the bodies reactions are firmly in my control, the ones that aren't the most irritating. Waking up form something that makes noise an overused one.

Few words are deciphered within my reach. And the word that I do understand are useless without the rest of the sentence. So is my life now. Hearing to little to understand, the words futile and word to next to nothing. The words I do manage to decipher are too little. Far too little and make the whole thing pointless. And the people talk again about something else, starting the whole process again. Again. Again.

(Onii-sans aura is the closets maybe 3 m away. Oka-sans aura is different.. worried?)

Forgetting the part where I'm treated as an infant. Am an infant. Helpless to do anything my body not able to move to the wimps, commands, of my body.

''…oka-san…''

It's madding.

''…good?.. ''

Good thing I was good in memorizing books. It's ironic really the very thing I detested became my light when all turned dark. In both this life and my previous one.

I better thank her if I ever meet her again. Not that she will recognize me. That will probably hurt.

''Oh…. you..''

''Itashi..''

Strange really. How things change. How thoughts change. Just because feelings bloom. And strangers become friends. Yes strange indeed.

Someone is closer to me. Warmth comes closer towards me. Warmth that only one of my family members possess. Oka-san.  
Soft hands stroke my not-jet-visible black hair. I hate myself for the fact that I almost imminently relax at her touch. I can't help it at all.

And this is just a bitter reminder that I'm not in my own body any longer.

Even if the comfort from her hand is so very nice.

''Sis..''

I look down. Her dark brown hair in two lose ponytails. And her ever curious eyes.

''Yes?''

''Whu is mama crying?''

How did she find out? It must have been last night. I slightly hum at the thought. I thought she was asleep that time. No matter.

''Frist of all she was crying,''

She needs to learn to say it correctly after all. Mom only talks in French at home it's only natural that she makes mistakes. An she is still young.

She nods eagerly at the correction. She is a fast learner.

And now for the answer… Telling the truth that she may not fully understand. Or lie and sin my own self-made laws? Lying would be so much easier… And if I tell her the truth now, she may not recover her love that she has now for our father. Like I had. But lying to her.. My heart stills at the thought.

I hate liars.

So what to do?

Decisions. Decisions.

With a slight hesitation I make my choice.

''Mom was sad that father wasn't home,''

My voice wavers at the word sad. It is not the right word. She was more angry than sad. But how to tell something like this to a four year old. No. Mom was sad. Is better to understand that perspective.

But enough to slowly making the blow that her, our, father isn't home anymore. He is almost a guest when he is with us at all. A hotel. A stop before you go on with your life again.

I look at my sister who silently processes the answer I told her.

With this answer I can protect her and slowly soften the blow that he isn't much at home at all.

No point in making it a harder for her when evenly figures it out for herself. I have no debut she will as curious as she is.

.

* * *

.

(And she did. She found out one a October day in which it rained all day long, a thing that happened more often than not at that time of the year. An I think that maybe the sky was crying for the broken trust of an girl. Maybe it was my imagery but the rain did truly taste salty that day. But alas it was meant to happen. And it was not pretty. Not pretty at all. )

This time I wake up from the slight sound of my door opening. And the peaceful aura accompanying it.  
Gentle –not soft, oka-san's hands were only soft- hands pick me up. His forever black eyes look into mine. His eyes aren't the same like mine or oka-sans. Her eyes are onxy and mine as well, all are mine darker.

His eyes don't tell a story but..  
While I can't understand the language he talks with, the feeling I get form it is more than enough to understand.  
''Ita!''

And I can't say much more than that simple word that isn't fully spoken.

What a difference in word, hmm?

I look at the full moon that shines so bright that you almost can't see the stars. I But I didn't notice it at all, the light only casts shadows from my point of view. The window, the only window, is placed at the right side of the room. So not to disturb my sleep from any light at all.

Itashi says something.

I don't understand a word.

He noticed it and lifted his head slightly towards the door. When did he understand? More importantly I became that readable? Ohh yeah.. I'm –someone else- a baby.

He wants to go outside?

Well why not? I barely feel the outside air anymore.

The air is fresh like it is morning. But I almost know for certain that it is evening. With my blurry vison I look at the sky. I only I had my full vison then I truly could enjoy the magnificent sight before me. And point out all the zodiac signs with a smile. Even if only just for myself and not for my family. Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius and Capricorn.

Jet another forgotten tradition of my family of before.

.

* * *

.

Dear diary,  
Mom and psychiatrist said that it would be good for me to write my thoughts and feelings. So here I am. And I don't know what to write at all. About my day maybe? Well it was a normal day. To normal. Mom made breakfast and I haven't eaten much of it. To be honest I don't eat much at all the last few weeks. Mom was worried. So she called a friend, and he said that it would be good for me to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. And so mom did. I don't like the smiling face of my psychiatrist. No not at all. But I have to go there once a week. Just for a month mom said, if I didn't improve than the appointments would stop. That was two weeks ago. And I haven't 'improved' as mom put it. I know she is worried. But I can't really act like I normally do. It just seems so fake. Mom's calling. I have to go.

.

* * *

.

Special: Boredom

I'm bored.

I'm really bored.

And falling again and again on the floor, even with soft flooring, does hurt.

But I shouldn't! This is one of the very special days when there is nobody watching me.

And I should enjoy it. I really, really should. And I did. The first part of it I practice my walking. It was more of a stand up, try to hold my balance, and fall flat first on the floor.

And now my but hurts and have probably lost a few brain cells. But I can for four seconds now! It is 2 seconds more.

Now to find something to cure my boredom and all will be well.

I look around the room. Blocks stacked on top each other, it slightly resamples a castle, with kanji's one each side. My eyes glide over the stuffed toys that lie forgotten in the back. -Which are two cats, one bear and a strange star thing- I have no use in them. A blanket and few pillows. A shudder. Not sleepy.

My gaze lands on my door, which is jet another reminder that I'm not in England. No we would never have sliding doors which are made of something suspicious looks like tin paper and some bamboo too hold it all together.

Who in their right mind would create a door with paper and bamboo?! For god sake paper isn't made for holding the cold or for it strong material! Even if I don't feel cold at all in my room or in any part of the house..

Is it really paper?

I look at the over suspicious-look-like-paper with curiosity.

I should test it.

As soon as the thought appears I want to erase it from my memories. I'm not some mindless child that causes trouble whenever you turn you back away even for a second.

But as I look at the door in question again I can't help but wiggle towards it.

No. My mind says. This is a very bad idea.

But not the least I cuddle closer.

I won't do anything. I just want to test if it is really-

Crack

-paper…

Ohh.

It really is.

Is the only thing that I come up with as I stare at the once whole door now with a big and ugly looking gape that is as big as my hand. Which isn't much but still enough to destroy one of the many squares.

Nobody would notice right?

Unfortunately my brother came by not soon after which resulted in a very not amused me.

* * *

Hope you liked it!

Also if you have questions about Satomi or the whole story itself, you can ask me. As always thanks for reading this story and I hope that you enjoyed it.


	4. Chapter 4 The reality

**Chapter 4 The reality **

Wow! I'm surprised by the amount of favorites. Thank you all.

I'm sorry for the late update, I wanted to do it early. But my laptop didn't want to work with me. So it toke a bit longer than expected. But here it is!

Warnings: None.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or its characters!

Beta: Hotaru-Waffles

* * *

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.

-Winston Churchill

* * *

It is official. I have survived one year and as reward I get, squealing auntie's, cooing girls and glaring adults. Really what have I done to deserve this?!

''You're just so cute!''

One the plus side I learn a lot of words that are in the sector of 'cute'. Not that I'm happy about it. But words like that could be useful right?

And of course I have to spend my time, after being tortured by auntie's- really who has so many auntie's!- my lovely parents thought why not torture her some more? And promptly ditched with her other year mates. Physical year mates. So welling one year olds and somewhat months. And there aura. I shudder. It is like a bomb, not controlled at all and in all directions. It almost hurts me how uncontrolled it is. Thank god that oka-san's, onii-san's and otou-san's aura is controlled. Maybe it has something to do with age? But no, my aura isn't so unleash. At least I don't think so. What then? Maybe it varies with the person?

Hmm. Yeah I think it is. Onii-san is around seven, eight year old (his birthday was a few weeks ago. But numbers are not jet something I have learned in Japanese. But he does look like that age). And I have sensed other children that age and there aura was as wild as the one year olds. Each person is different

''MAA''

And it is not funny to watch all those snot covered faces. Who roll about. I'm really, really thankful that my parent and onii-san always bath me at the end of the day. Maybe they are clean freaks, but I'm still grateful for their quality.

Getting off track you dumbass. ''OkA-sam!''

My poor ears! I rub them. Auch. I didn't even know that people could get so high. I glance at the way that the screaming come from, she looks like a family member. Great. Just great. Yeah my life is a happy one. I can't wait to grow up. Than at least I can decide what I do on my birthday and not my parents what results in a gossips place disguised as a party.

At least I get presents. Yeah. Lots and lots of presents.

'''nii-san!''

My voice and language is still not perfect, but I can say a few words without sounding to daft. Which is good.

The arms of onii-san wrap around me little form. The sense of peace fills me. He can protect me from all harm.

'''Nii-san..''

His eyes look at me again. No his eyes aren't seen through like others. But they do soften when they see me. Which is all the prove in need I suppose. Even if it feels weird sometimes to be a baby, at least I have a_ happy_ and _whole _family. That is what counts.

''Claire! Why don't you tell us how to writhe difference? ''

I stare at the teacher hopelessly. Why don't they understand that I only understand half of what they're saying? Or what they write.

''Mister! She doesn't know. She never knows!''

Tears begin to prick in my eyes. No be stronger. Comments like that shouldn't hurt me. Ignore them.

''Yes, mister she comes from France you see''

Ignore them.

''I have heard that all the people there are dimwitted,'' A boy who likes to say mean things to other kids, and often me, says.

"That's enough you two! Honestly some people are just slower than others and-'' My teacher says. Trying to keep the peace. But it is to late for me. The words stung. And let the poison into my heart.

''I'm not stupid! Why do you always say that?!''

Tears scream down on my face by the time I'm done with my outburst. I look at faces of my classmates, some look bored, others look shocked and others angry. And there eyes.. Those eyes. They scream 'I don't care'. And they whisper. About me. Always about me. Those people… _''Just give them a chance. I'm sure you make friends,''_

I can't take it anymore!

And so I run away.

''Claire!''

''Claire come back here!''

Even the teachers voice can't bring me back.

''Stupid Claire!'' the mean boy says.

''No wonder Claire is so stupid!''

''Yeah!''

I blink. That memory huh. I thought I lost it. Apparently I didn't.

I look at the unremarkable grey ceiling. Unremarkable compared to the rest of the room of course. On the walls are Sakura trees. Full with Sakura flowers. They are white and mix well with the grey color of the walls themselves.

But for me to be staring at the ceiling.. I must have fallen asleep. Oh well, onii-san has at least but me in my crib and away from all the guests. Why didn't I think of it earlier? That way I could have avoided unnecessary trouble. Silently I beat myself up.

So, what to do now?

I glance through the room. Nothing remarkable but.. Holly hell! I knew my family – the amount of auntie's being the first clue- but this is… This is just ridicules. As I stare at the staple piled up presents I can't help but think, why is it here?

I mean it takes half of my bedroom's space, maybe that is over reacting ,it takes a little less space but still. I'm mean there must be some kind of present that isn't baby prove right? I'm there is always someone who gives a one year old a wrong kind of present , flashes of a nail scissors flash through my mind. Who in their right mind gives a one year old something like that? It is not like she needed it. If anything she would harm herself with it if she tried.

Yeah. There is always an idiot who gives the wrong kind of present.

So that begs the question, why are all my presents here? My parents aren't idiots, they have proved it multiple times. So why? Unless.. There are already screened through. But that ridicules, the presents don't look like they have been opened.

Hmm….

Well now how to get to my source of entertainment. Like I have said before, my parents aren't idiots and most of the time that is fortunate now it is less so. Because if my parents were idiots it would be a lot easier to get out of my crib.

While I debate about how the get out of my crib a familiar aura prickles my senses. Oka-san's.

Her chakra is getting closer. If I cry will she come?

But.. She is already coming towards me.

''Satomi-chan… Ah your awake,.. to change (your?) diaper.. ''

After the changing she lays me on down on the floor. Perfect. Now for my presents… I pick up the closest one, green with a red lint, and open it.

A green dress greats my eyes. It is a pretty dress. And by the feeling of the fabric, it isn't wasn't cheap either. Someday I'm going to figure out how and why my family is so rich. But that day is not today.

I pick up the next present, a sweater. And the next, a wooden toy. And the next another dress. And the next , a fan.. Wait… I look back at the fan. It looks strangely familiar. Where have I seen this before? Then the answer strikes me. No..

I stare at the fan again. Trying, hoping, that the image is false. Nope. It is the same. The same white and red fan of the Uchiha clan. A clan that for all intents and purposes , should be fantasy. A clan who together with the Senju founded the leaf village. A clan has some of the bloodiest history. A clan who exist in Naruto manga and anime. And I shouldn't be staring at a fan that so innocently is imprint on the fan in my hands.

Maybe I'm over-reacting. My family, black hair, black/onxy eyes, could be hard fans of Naruto, right? They could be right? Even if they look suspicious like the Uchiha clan. They could be right?

Even if they are so fast that they can be compared to a car. And that onii-san's name sounds too familiar to a certain Uchiha Itachi form Naruto?

Oh god.

He is Uchiha Itachi isn't he? Onii-san with his rare but soft smiles, his ever peaceful present that managed to calm me countless times. Onii-san. My onii-san. The same Itachi as Uchiha Itachi form Naruto. The murderer of his clan. All he killed except for his little brother, he couldn't kill him. Not him. Not his little brother. Uchiha Itachi who played a game with the Akatsuki by giving the leaf village information about them. The same Itachi is downstairs not even 10 meters away from me,

Onii-san is Itachi. Uchiha Itachi is Onii-san.

I'm screwed. No I'm more than screwed, I'm doomed. With the capital leter D.

I'm in fucking Naruto. A world where child soldiers are a normal thing. Are even accepted in the law. Hell even accepted in the eyes of most of the people. A world where killing is normal, heck it is kill or be killed. A world where breathing fire is a normal accuracy. Where defying gravity is as easy as breathing. A world were you're seen as weak if you help instead of kill. A world that is so fucked up that my world seems like a bunny, a Easter bunny, in comprised. A world where I live in.

My god. I'm more than doomed. I'm the king of the doomed and not in any sense is that good. I'm so doomed that dying doesn't seem so scary anymore. At least you are a Uchiha. Oh thanks mind. Really helpful! Let not forget that I'm a fucking Uchiha that is more than domed to die at the hands of my brother. I'm not Sasuke. He won't spare me. I'm a fucking Uchiha. A Uchiha with the potential to have the sharingan. The sharingan. Who in return has the potential to become the Rinningan. The eyes of a god. Even if only one of my ancestors managed it. If you forget that it takes Senju blood for it…

But forget about the sharingan, that is way too dangerous. I'm still doomed. The plot goes bye, bye the moment I chance anything, if I haven't done so already. My brother is Itachi for god's sake. I probably have changed something already by simply existing. Who knew that something so simple could destroy so much?

I didn't sign up for this.

I don't even deserve it.

What in the name of every god in existed have I ever done to deserve such a fate. I know I wasn't the bravest, I seen countless of people suffer without lifting a finger to stop it. I know I'm not sinless. And yes, I have broken a few of my self-made laws, and not only one time. And yes, I haven't forgiven my father for not being home when I needed him the most. Yes. I'm not the most honorable. But dammit I have tried!

I have tried so hard to be acknowledge by people who sneered at me at a daily basis. People who later on apologized. They were sorry, they said. I just nodded. What else could I have done? It was in the past. But they could have done so much more!

But it doesn't matter now. I'm a dead woman walking anyway.

The aura that I feel the whole time must be chakra. Everything makes so much more sense now. Missing pieces fall into place like they belonged there all along. And they did. I just didn't see. Didn't want to believe. Wanted to hold on, onto my ignorance till I couldn't protect my own head anymore.

Stupid Claire indeed.

Stupid, stupid Claire. Not seeing what is obvious in front of you.

Stupid, stupid me.

.

* * *

.

Onii-san is still the same. No matter how I look at him, he is still the same Itashi that tries to see me when he can. He is still holding me close when that strange spicy aura, chakra I mentally correct myself, is close. Even if he allows the spicy au- chakra to be closer now. He is still helping oka-san with things that easily go unnoticed by others. But not by me. He is still strangely tense when one of t

he older people come into our home.

But most of all, he is still onii-san. And the fact that he is soon to be the Uchiha Itachi the murderer of the clan, doesn't go by my notice but he.. Isn't only that he is so much more.

He is onii-san. Someone who actually gives a damn about me. Who cares about me. At least I hope so. His eyes my not tell a the truth of his emotion, they're to guarded. But his voice does. It is softer when he is with me. More gentle than it is with the others. Even with oka-san and outo-san it is a little more strained. With outo-san more than with oka-san. That he protects me form spicy aur- chakra even if all evidence say that the spicy a- chakra is a close friend to onii-san.

So yes he cares for me. And that is more important than the fact that in the future he will murdered the clan. Far more important. Even if he doesn't care as much about me as he did (will do?) Sasuke. Even if somewhere in the back of my mind some voices says, don't get to close he will hurt you. He is still onii-san. My onii-san.

Vacation.. It was a foreign to me. And my brother did have summer vacation. The signs were clearly there. Even if he didn't spend his time lying about in the shadows or playing with that other kids, it was vacation. And it does bring back memories…

We didn't go on vacation a lot. We either didn't have the money for or we just decided that staying was more productive than just wandering around a unknown country. Not to mention that fathers job was the busiest in the vacation. But when we did go, it was fantastic. The plans dad and moth-mom made were filled with exiting things. Even if mom did most of the planning and fa-dad only stated his input on sometimes or like grand-mere said, ''Saying yes or no'' to the plans. But it was wonderful.

Even if we didn't spend our time in a luxurious hotel but in steed a common if not slightly unknown and under average hotel.

But we did spend our time and money on the more important things. Namely, parks, churches and of course the grandiose museums.

I never much liked them. The stuffed up old things on display for thousands of people and well old things. My six year old mind didn't like it. No I would much rather play in the playground, different from my own and managed to catch my interest. And the children were different of course. I liked to play with them even if we didn't understand a word the other were saying.

But the museums and now and then the castles were boring. No other kids to play with. No interesting things to try out, in fact if there were interesting things, you weren't allowed to touch them. So what was the point of only seeing old things?

But the museums did have its charm. Not the way of the museum itself, but more the people. And specific my parents. Dad wasn't home a lot. And mother was a less happier with him around and thus when we were on vacation they spend as much time together as they could. And with museums they were more together than ever.

''David what is that supposed to be?''

Mom points at a very strange looking vase.

''Hmmm? Oh that well.. That is interesting! It is one of the gifts that-''

And dad goes on in a explanation about another of the things that picked mom's interest. Really what is so important about these things? There just old things.. But mom and dad find it interesting so maybe they aren't so bad! And hopefully finding something that is interesting on the vase I look it over.

''Dad.. Why is it there missing something?''

Mom and dad look at me startled. ''Claire! Couldn't you wait we were in the middle of an interesting story,''

I look at mom and try to find a good enough explanation. Mom always hates it when she is broken up on something be it a reading a book or in this case a conversation.

''Sorry, mom. And dad. It is just that..''

''It is alright Judith. I was almost done with the story anyway,'' Dad this time.

Reassured by dad, I ask my question again.

''Look Claire, it is an old thing. Things break over time. And these things, things that lie forgotten in a collapsed palace and nobody cares for them, crumble and crack. Vases are meant to be chariest to be cleaned and to be show off to the world. But this one wasn't and that is why it is missing something. A piece of it cracked of and wasn't found again,''

''So because it wasn't cared for, for a realllllly long time it cracked?''

''Yes, it did,'' he said and nods.

I muss over the answer dad has given me. So you have to care for things otherwise they break… But does that mean that if I don't care and ch-chariest it that it will break? I don't want mom to break! I shudder at the thought… And look at mom… Only to hear her laugh.

''What's so funny?'' I said bewildered. Looking at the strange sight my parents present.

''Oh it is nothing Claire.. Just some old memories of your dad and I''

Yes we didn't go on vacations a lot but when we did it was amazing.

I realized that happy memories no matter how much I hurt from them, were good in their own way. Even if happy memories brought back more memories that better could have been forgotten.

''SATOOOMI!''

Oh yes, that. Sadly that is what I have to put up with for as long as my sweat oka-san wants me to. It is annoying it, it is frustrating and it drowns out chakra like a bom. Yes she is a walking chakra bom, an explosive one. She makes me really thankful for my parents and brother for not being so insensitive with chakra. She must have a lot or more charka than a normal somewhat over a one year old. The other one year olds that were dumbed with me one my first birthday party weren't nearly so.. Feelable. Yes I could feel the chakra and yes they it wasn't as controlled as oka-san, outo-san, onii-san and a most of the quests, but Asami as she is named is the first one that I can feel the most.

''SATOMMMI!''

And she is as loud as her chakra. Maybe her chakra is affected by her character somehow? Or is it that a person's chakra is decided by that persons birth, and thus by genetics?

''SATOMMMI!''

I sight. The one year old doesn't want to be ignored doesn't she? Well that is to be expected. She is a baby of a high ranked and thus rich family. She was spoiled, like I'm in a way. Only she hasn't a seventeen –now eighteen- years' worth of memories in her brain. Or if she did, she doesn't act like it.

A weight sight causes me to fall backwards. What in the world?

Spoiled and a bit of intelligent, well enough to figure out that if she can't get my attention by calling then she has to get physical. Which means that I fall into a soft but not soft enough floor with her more on less on top of me.

''Asami'' The words of Japanese are still foreign to me and my body, but I'm getting there. Even if I still have that slur that all babies have and thus I length the m and n sounds. That is probably why onii-san is easier than Itachi, it has more easy produce.

''Satomi!''

Oh right the one year old. Why do I have to put up with her again? That's right my oka-san wants me to make 'friends'. I frown. Friends huh?

''He you guys can I sit with you..?''

''No!''

''Who wants to sit with her,''

Making friends was never my specialty. But I did try, not that, that did me any good. But I did try. And noting good came from it. So no, I don't appreciate oka-sans efforts. No matter how good willed they may have been.

Plus coloring some kind of cat isn't as fun as I let my sis- as I believed. It just is so frustrating. I know how to color something in but somehow my hand just doesn't want to listen.

And now the once black and white drawing is decorated with colors that somehow miss the place they're supposed to be completely.

And the joyful screams of Asami isn't the most comfortable background music. All in all I don't enjoy myself at all with in my 'friend's' present. No I much rather have my solitude back with all the boredom it contains. So no oka-san I don't ever want to see this spoiled girl again.

.

* * *

.

Dear diary,

I got a E on history. Mom was surprised and disappointed. My friends were surprised. Hell even my teacher was. He wanted to talk to me after class. I didn't. He talked about that it must be hard to focus on school. I just nodded. My mom knew, the teacher called her after I left. Nosy teachers. I honestly don't know what the big deal is. Yes, normally I don't score so low. Especially not on history. It was my favourite. But life isn't normal anymore. Not with you not in it. I miss you, you know? It has been said that people don't truly realize what they have till it's gone. And it partly truth. The things that were so normal before, you saying goodbye before school begins. You being up early on the school days but late when the holidays begin. You soothing me when I cried. Yes I miss the little things, that made live so much more alive. And now you aren't here to do these things anymore..


	5. Chapter 5 Understanding

**Chapter 5 Understanding**

Well a double update for you! I wanted to post them both at the same time, and I managed it quite well. Anyway I hope you like it! I myself had fun writhing the pov of Fugaku.

Warnings: Drama and angst await you!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or its characters!

Beta: Hotaru-Waffles

* * *

Ohana means family. Family means that nobody gets left behind or forgotten –Stich/Lilo From Lilo and Stich

* * *

(Itachi's pov)

…

''Satomi-san is currently sleeping, but she was awake for a moment. In that moment it seemed that she couldn't get enough air into her lungs, despite that the room we were in was not lacking in oxygen. She didn't have the same problem to breathe as when she was awake. We did check for anything that could have disturbed her lungs, but didn't find anything that could have affected her to react in such a way. And thus we were forced to put her to sleep,''

''What about how she got in this state in the first place?'' my otou-sans harsh voice asks.

''We don't know Uchiha-sama.'' He notably tenses, waiting for a reaction. A bad one.  
But we aren't Uchiha for nothing. Uchiha's control their emotion after all, no matter in what kind of situation they are. Even if my imouto was screaming like she was dying from a lethal poison, we aren't allowed to show anything. My anger to the clan grows just a little stronger. Not that I show any of it on the outside.

The other medic-nin speaks forth.

''I… have an idea of what may cause Satomi-san to be in such a state''

I raise an eyebrow. If he has an idea of what caused my imouto to react in that way, why does he hesitate? Unless…it is something that can harm my imouto? But no, than he would heal it. Is it something that my parents wouldn't approve of? That would make more sense. After all even if he is a well know medic (which he is, but not famous) he has nothing on the Uchiha. The Uchiha fame after reaches far more than the state of well know.

''What is this idea of yours?'' I state lightly, not to sound too interested (which I am). It is after all better not to sound interested than let that be used against me.

''Well…I have heard from a friend that he saw a child act similar but that child was much older; around six or maybe even eight years old. This child was from a village not very much away from the village.  
The child was from a geisha and probably a shinobi father, giving the child's circumstances. This child learned to sense chakra by will. It cost the child time, yes, but by the time the child was older it was as good at sensing chakra as an anbu. But there was something that my friend didn't foresee.'' The iryo-nin pauses.

''The child was so sensitive to chakra that she couldn't be around ninja above the common amount of chakra of a genin or low chuunin. The child fainted when she was around normal chuunin or jounin.

Uchiha-san shows semilair signs. Though, her circumstances are a bit different form the other child's. For one, Uchiha-san is much younger. But the most mayor different is that Uchiha-san is surrounded with shinobi.''

Yes this is truth. Not only is otou-san one, a jounin. But oka-san was a chuunin before she married otou-san.

''I believe that she is more used to the fast amount of chakra because of this. The other child has lived her whole life in a civilian village with once or twice a passing through shinobi. And as we know shinobi have more chakra than civilian's do. So let's say that Uchiha-san is sensitive to chakra, but got used to the chakra that lingers in the air from shinobi surrounding her, but not enough to be completely register it as normal. Well then if you add a person's chakra that is vastly different from what she is used to, then her body rebels against it and screams to go away. But because Uchiha-san is a baby she couldn't react to her body's needs. And thus her body collapsed form the overload of chakra.''

The conversation plays in my head again. The same questions with the same answers. The answer is what keeps me puzzling for the right answer. And so I think back and hope somehow that trough reviewing my memories that it will give me the answers I seek. The same players on their respectable places, the same words being spoken. All the same.

But trying by to find the answers it always ends with that same conversation.  
And the same conclusions. It fits as a missing piece and it should make me content that I found the answer.

But I'm not.

The answers, after all, leave more things to cover up.

More things to hide.

More things to protect.

More prove that this isn't how a right world should work.

And so I review the same memory hoping—praying—that another answer would suddenly come up.

But it doesn't. And it never will.

And I despise the answers for it.

.

* * *

.

(Mikoto's pov)

I know that my little girl, my little baby girl, is special. I knew it before the doctor confirmed that I was pregnant.

Some would call it woman intuition, and maybe it was. But I knew on that faithful day in October that when Fugaku came and caressed me like never before, that the child that would be born not out of obligate to the clan, but out of our love. And she is.

She's special.

Not because of what the doctor's said. No, not that.

No—she's special because she is here. Before me, is a creature far more alive than any of the stoic faces of the clan. Before me is life so pure and full of the peace that has long since left. This child will be special. Not because of her condition, but because she is so wonderfully alive.

(Mikoto's pov)

''Uchiha-sama,'' my medic-nin says in a way of greeting and bows.

I nod in return. After all a Uchiha doesn't bow to commoners. And go sit down on one of the chairs. The medic-nin copies me.

''The test that we did two weeks ago got some interesting results. You may see for yourself. Or I could explain it to you, if you like,''

''I will see it for myself, thank you.''

The paper that is handed to me is filled with all kinds of medical rubbish. The kind that you think, why isn't it just stated as it is? But because of a cousin of mine the medical terms make sense. And the information on it is quite disturbing.

''My child has high spiritual chakra,'' I say.

''Yes, it isn't most common but it happens. But because of this I highly recommend for you to go into labor here. If only for the safety of yourself and your child,'' He confirms.

This of course has to be discussed with my clan. But the chance is high that the answer is yes.

If only to be on the safe side.

And not because the Uchiha only has three full-fledged medic-ninja and two apprentices, the first one not quite right in the mind; and the other young enough to get used to the phenomenon that is medical-ninjutsu.

Not to mention that three full-fledged medic-nin's, the first one a cousin of mine. Twice removed through my mother's side. She isn't of course really related through blood no, the husband of my aunt already married once and only the daughter stayed. My aunt, the kind woman that she was, allowed the girl to stay and sought audience to Hiroshi, the previous clan head, and he allowed the girl to the Uchiha name instead of her old one.

The old one in the clan council of course objected but in the end the girl served well. Well indeed. She may not be a real cousin, or even a Uchiha but she still has the same fire that all the Uchiha's possess. And that is maybe what made her to such a successful medic-nin. And made her survive the clan.

The other two…well I don't know much about them beside their name and that one is an old woman and the other well likes to use her medical-ninjutsu in a rather interesting way. It evolves a lot of blood. And gossipers whisper that she is the madness you get after a lot of inbreeding. Maybe they're right, maybe they're not. The frustrating thing about gossips are that you never quite know if they're truth or not.

The five of them all not quite a pure blood line. After all Uchiha's aren't born with natural talent for medical-ninjutsu. It is almost against the very blood in our veins. We are natural born with large chakra reserves, which makes it harder to control. Not like the Uzumaki's but still more than the average ninja. Even if most of the clan children are taught the basics of medic-ninjutsu, almost never is there one with the talent for the healing art.

No, labor in the clan compound isn't the most safe in my circumstances. The clan will advise for me to labor my child in the hospital if only for my safety. Only for my safety of course. Not to cover up the weakness that the Uchiha have in that section.  
I don't betray my thoughts or say anything to the medic-nin that has been so kind as to be my doctor for a short time that my pregnancy was confirmed.

I just nod. And walk away.

All is well for the Uchiha clan head's wife.

(Itachi pov)

I knew there would be coincidences if the clan ever found out. Oka-san is a smart woman, she will figure it out, if she hasn't already. She will reach the same conclusion. She would never tell them. The only one who could possible tell, would be otou-san, if only for the fact that he is totally loyal towards the clan. Or because he is the clan head, I can't be certainly. The clan is after all, his. But there is one thing that is more important to him than the enteral clan itself.

His family.

Oh he tries to hide it. He tries it all too well. But I can see the slight tremble when the clan elders talk about oka-san in a not so appropriate manner. I can see the way his eyes look for any injuries when I come back from training he, the clan, has set up for me. And I see how his hands form into fist when he indeed finds such injuries. I can see it. And for me it is an opportunity that I can exploit all too well.

And I will.

Then there is the medic-san. By the way he acted, he is a good but naïve. He doesn't know the principles the world is based on. No, he doesn't know that he hold very vital information. Information that no matter what can't be known. And certainly not quite yet. So if he shows even the slightest show of this information, information that is a tread towards his imouto, he will permanently silence him.

After all an older brother always protects his younger siblings.

No matter the cost.

Even if a part of him shudders at the thought of more blood stained on his hands.

He will bear it. After all why are older siblings born if not to protect their younger siblings?

.

* * *

.

(Mikoto's pov)

''Push!''

The voice of a another medic-ninja barely registers. Pain, agonizing pain, shots trough me.

''Push!''

I almost give up at pain shouts that go through my whole body. Until-

''Milady!''

The pain stops. And I puff the no existing air out of my longs. And I inhale the air after. Oxygen never was so sweet. Sweet, sweet air.

A scream fill the air.

''Uchiha-sama, it is a healthy baby girl!''

My eyes focus on the speaker of the voice and immediately focus my attention at the treasure in her arms. The woman, barely over 19 years old, feels the stare and comes closer.

''Do you want to hold her Uchiha-sama?''

Too tired to speak, I know I am, I nod affirmative.

A short breath later I hold the little creature in my arms. The wiggling confirms that she is alive. But she doesn't want to be in my arms. Sadness overwhelms me. Oh well, than I will try my hardest to show her that she can trust me.

But first she needs to have someone who she does trust.

''Itachi''

And who is better that her brother?

A mother's instinct is indeed very vulnerable.

.

* * *

.

(Fugaku's pov)

''Uchiha-sama congratulations! What a healthy girl you have there!'' The happy voice of yet another visitor.

''Thank you Yamanaka-san,'' I say to yet another person.

To be respectful and deceive everyone within your reach—that is the fate of the Uchiha.

And it is indeed truth.

But that doesn't mean that lying is the answer to every question. Quite the opposite. Saying the truth once or twice makes your prey more confused and thus more vulnerable.

And being blunt is a clan trait. One that even reaches the most distant cousins.

''Good evening, Fuguku-kun,''

My eyes narrow. There are people who call me by that name. But most of them are dead. And now only one that calls me by my first name without a respectful horrific; and only one that has my permission to do so—only one that earned enough of my respect to be allowed.

''It is a pleasant evening, yes'' I say to him.

Chuckles fill the air. Which before only was filled with political talk.

''Always so blunt, ne Fuguke-kun?'' he says playfully.

This is the person who I can be truthful without the fear of being feared.

''Hn'' I grunt to him.

''I'm glad that you haven't changed,'' he says.

The playful moods disappears without a trace at the words. And without question I answer.

''No, I have hokage-sama,'' Looking at him.

He looks at me and sighs.

''You don't have to call me that way Fugaku-kun. We're friends,'' he says this in a serious manner.

''I know, Hokage-sama,'' But I still call you by that title. Because if I don't… I may break the I vow I swore to my father.

It doesn't matter if they're friends, family, wife or otherwise. You always give the appropriate if it hurts to not call the closes person to me by his first name like I did before he got the title Hokage. But vows are vows; and I will not break them.

Even for him. Even not for the man I respected beyond words. The man that was by me when I was my lowest and I by him. The man who despises my attitude saw through the mask and saw me.

And despite that fact, I can't—won't—break my vow.

''I know Fugake-kun. I know,'' he says. Almost registred.

Even not for Minato Namikaze, my rival since that fated spar.

''But you know I won't give up. One day I will hear you call me by my first name again,''  
There it is again. That fire. The fire that burn's in his eyes. And I know that nothing I say to him can make him change his thoughts.

That is just who Hokage-sama is.

It is funny I suppose, that the same fire drove me towards him, is the same fire that makes me want to give up that vow. The vow that I can't break.

''Fugaku-kun..'' he mumbles.

''Yes?''

''I want to talk to you in private,'' he looks at me determined. And a bit shy.

I raise an eyebrow. But begin to move to a secluded room, not the least. And Hokage-sama follows.

I don't know what he wants to talk about, but whatever it is it has to be important. Normally he is quite, open, with his secrets. Even to the point that when Kushina and Hokage-sama's marriage was being announced, almost everyone already knew of it. Maybe it was Kushina's fault this time, after all she also isn't very secure about her secrets. So for him to ask for a privacy… Well it is not normal in any way.

I close the shoji doors and with it seal the doors. Nobody can enter into this room without my permission.

''We are secure here,'' I say to Hokage-sama. He looks as if he is thinking and I let him to it. It is always better for people to think before saying.

After all saying before think has led to many miscounts to count. Even wars have started because one person had said something before thinking. So thinking is much more important.

''Fugaku-kun, I have been thinking. You see, Kushina is pregnant for some time now and I was wondering if you would like to be god father to our child,''

Kushina's pregnancy doesn't come to a surprise to me. But Hogake-sama wanted me to be the one to confirm if their child was healthy. Much against common believe people have different sharingans. Or to be more precise, the powers of each person's sharingan is different.

For instance one could be better in detecting genjutsu then casting them. Or being good at copying jutsu's but their sight wasn't the best among the Uchiha. There are many variations among the Uchiha. Yes most can see through genjustsu, copy moves, cast genjutsu but some of the powers are just more powerful than others.

Myself am good in seeing the way chakra flows and thus good in copying genjutsu. That's why I'm one of the people who knows of Kushina's little furry problem and her pregnancy.  
But the second part of his sentence does surprise me. He wants me to be the god father to his child? Why?

''Why?'' I ask at the Hokage.

''Why you? Why not you? You, Uchiha Fugaku, are one of my closed and most trusted friend. You were there with me when we were miserable genins waiting for the slaughter that is called real life. You were one arrogant prick there but you were my rival. Don't you know? You are special to me. That is why I want you to be my child's godfather,''

His words leave an everlasting effect on me. My whole body warms at his effective words. He truly cares for me doesn't he? He truly does… He feels the same about or friendship as I do. He…I look at his eyes. His fire, his will, are present in them. For the second time I witness Hogake's willpower.

''I…I don't know what to say,''

He begins to laugh. ''I never would imagine that you would be so shell shocked, Fugake-kun,''  
And I begin to smile too. I can't help it. Hogake-sama's presence just screams of such a joy, that you have to predicate in it.

And so that day I became a god father. With all the consequences and responsibilities that come with it.

.

* * *

.

(Itachi's pov)

''Itachi,'' the worried voice of my mother says.

''What is it oka-san?'' I say to her.

''We will be away for the night, will you be alright on your own?'' she says in the same worried tone.

''Yes, oka-san don't worry,'' I reassure her.

''I don't worry it is just…'' She looks at the room not very far away from me. In it resides a little baby girl who matters much to the rest of the people that live in the house.

''She will be fine, Mikoto,''  
Otou-san's voice, as always, has the undertone of command in it. If it is because of he is the leader of the clan or just because he is so, I never quite figured out. I always imaged that it was more of a habit than anything else. After all if you command people all day then even at home the habit doesn't quite leave. And this time is no different.

''Yes, of course she will,'' oka-san hesitantly agrees, still looking unsure despite what she is saying.

And they go away. After al,l tonight is the night of their anniversary. It is tradition that you celebrate it. 8 years they have been together.

The soft wind caries a send of iron. It gives me a worried felling.

Hopefully the forebode feeling I have is wrong.

My thoughts are quit off because of a scream. Such an awful scream. It is almost like the scream that imouto…Imouto!

My legs run to her room.

'Please tell me she's alright,' I think, mind racing a mile a minute about the possibilities or exactly why she was crying hysterically.

And there she lays in her crib screaming as if she is pain.

''Let's say that Uchiha-san is sensitive to chakra, but got used to the chakra that lingers in the air from shinobi surrounding her, but not enough to be completely register it as normal. Well then if you add a person's chakra who is vastly different from what she is used to, then her body rebels against it and screams to go away. But because Uchiha-san is a baby she couldn't react to her body's needs. And thus her body collapse form the overload of chakra.''

She is in pain. But how? I don't sense anything that might-

Suddenly a chakra wave clashes through me. This is…but my thoughts immediately went to a much more important fact. If even I can sense this that what must my imouto be going through? I'm not superb in chakra sensing. And for even me to sense this…My imouto must be in more agony then she should ever be.

Maybe I could help her? I could after all try to reverse the effects this dark chakra has on her. Even just an little…It could help her…

And so I let my careful controlled chakra out in the open. And with it making her chakra sensing aware not of the beast's chakra but more her brother's. After all my chakra is much, much closer to her while the beast's is much farther away.

''Dear imouto, don't cry your big brother is here,'' I say softly to her. Hoping that she can hear the tone, even if she can't yet understand the words.

I take her in my arms and rock her back and forth, her screams slowly reduce to cries. I rock her some more. And trying one of oka-san's lullaby's that imouto seems to like so much. After a long time, her cries to soft whimpers.

''Shh..'' I soothe her.

Her onyx eyes still wet from the tears glitter in the half lighted room. She has otou-san's eyes. The same black iris so black that her eyes almost seen like a pit of darkness. And now because of her tears the eyes seem more onyx, like oka-san's.

But they are unmistakably otou-sans eyes and probably the only feature she has from him. The rest of her is oka-san's and from other related family members.

She has the standard black hair. But it does have a certain blue shine, probably form oka-san's side of the family. Her face now still filled with baby fat, but it has the makings of high cheekbones, like many of the other members of the clan also have including myself.  
Pale skin, it will burn easily in the sun. Also a clan trait. It is not for nothing that we have a special ointment for protecting our skin against the sun.  
This little baby has experienced far too much agony in her short existence.

I won't allow it anymore. Not ever.

I don't want my little imouto to be tainted by the evils of the clan.  
The clan after destroys everything and remakes it to their tastes. No I will not allow them to do so. Not my imouto.

Soft whimpers leave her lips.

''Shh, don't cry imouto. As your big brother I will always protect you no matter what,'' I say softly.

I will protect you imouto, that is a promise.


	6. Chapter 6 AU!

Dear readers,

You may have noticed that I haven't uploaded for a while. The cause for this is very simple, I stopped writing Here and now. It isn't that I don't have any inspiration or that the words won't come. No, I just stopped. I don't like writing Here and now anymore. And for that reason I'm shutting Here and now down.

Maybe one day I will pick it up again. But for now, it is simple the end.


End file.
